When it comes to weddings, there are so many pre-wedding activities, it can be confusing for what we should participate in. Firstly we need to keep in mind that as happy as others are to celebrate with us, most pre-wedding events come with gift or money spending of some kind. In order to keep your guests pockets heavy, stick to just a few activities.
What is an engagement party?
An engagement party is a nice way to celebrate with your close friends and family soon after you become engaged. It’s also a nice way to meet your partners extended family that you may not have had a chance to meet yet. It is usually a casual to formal affair. The bride’s parents traditionally host the party, but other close friends or relatives could do so as well. In return for the hospitality, and in congratulations for the couple, guests will bring a gift for the soon-to-be bride and groom.
What is a stag and doe?
A stag and doe is more or less a fundraiser. The bride, groom and wedding party sell tickets to the party where they provide free food and liquor tickets at a cost. There are also prizes to be raffled to be won with tickets that are purchased. The goal of a stag and doe is to help raise money for the bride and groom to put towards their wedding.
A stag and doe can be a controversial topic, as it does not follow the rules of etiquette. You are after all asking your guests to attend a party they have to pay for. In my opinion, (and this could be because it’s a typical thing to have a stag and doe in this area) it is okay to have a stag and doe. I understand how it goes against the rule and can be seen as “tacky” but with so many people throwing stag and does, it has become the norm.
Can you have an engagement party if you plan on throwing a stag and doe?
While there are no rules against this, I would strongly advise not to. You should pick between one or the other. It becomes a lot for people to keep attending more parties where they give you money or gifts.
How should you choose?
Ask yourselves these questions:
- What do we need more? Money to help with the wedding, or objects we can use in our household?
- What kind of feel do we want to portray to our guests? Do you want a classy more elegant party, or do you want the party to be more fun and full of people drinking?
- What type of friends and family will you have coming to the wedding? What will they enjoy more?
In the end, it is your wedding. You should feel free to do what you want. Do what is right for you.